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Wonderfully Made by Karl Shallowhorn

October 13, 2020 By Karl Shallowhorn

Karl Shallowhorn – photo by Barri Falk 1985

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

It was 1983. I was 21 years old. I had just quit my laborer’s job after a semester of unbridled addiction. I had plunged into a major depression and I spent the entire summer virtually in bed, unable to properly take care of myself. Fortunately, I was still living at home so at least I had my parents to rely on.

Eventually I was admitted, for the second time, to the Buffalo Psychiatric Center, the hospital in the region that housed the most severely ill. The unit I was on was inhabited by men, some of whom were literally “criminally insane.” This was no place for an adolescent youth. This is where I received my diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder Type 1 with psychotic features.

In the midst of my plight I held on to my belief in God and that somehow, I would be saved from a life of destitution and degradation. I even took my Bible with me, the one I received at my confirmation. One day I couldn’t find it. I searched and came across it, destroyed in one of the shower stalls. I was crushed. I knew I had to get out of there.

I ended up being discharged and the following January I enrolled at SUNY Buffalo State College. Despite having more bipolar episodes during my time there I managed to graduate and with time, effort and support I managed to stabilize my condition to the point where I returned to school several years later and received my credential for alcoholism counseling.

The thing that sticks out to me most during this period is that despite my troubles, I knew that there was something inside me that was more than I could conceive of. I truly believed that I had the potential to become something, even though I didn’t fully know what that was. I also had the faith that God felt the same.

I have seen this in many people I know, many of whom attend the same 12 Step program for addiction that I have for the last 32 years as well as those I know who live with mental health challenges. It is this realization that continues to keep me in awe of what can be done when one co-creates with God.

And you too are fearfully and wonderfully made, whether you know it or not. No matter your ability or challenge. God has made you as a unique individual, one that is like no other. You have something inside you that no one else does. This needs to be celebrated, affirmed and acknowledged. YOU are special.

Karl Shallowhorn
Karl Shallowhorn is the President and Founder of Shallowhorn Consulting,, LLC. He is also the Chair of the Erie County Anti-Stigma Coalition and serves as the Chair of Affiliate Relations for the Mental Health Association in New York State. He lives in Amherst, New York with his wife and their dog Sophie.

Filed Under: Addiction, Bipolar Disorder, Hope, Mental Health, Mental Health Network, Stigma, UCC, United Church of Christ

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